The Thursday Thesis - 04/01/2017
“Let ‘em Say Yes by Going for No”
“But what if they reject me and say no?” Mark asked.
My friend’s pain was clear in his voice. Months of frustration and indecision had left him feeling powerless and at a dead-end.
Mark’s a bright guy, and he knew that his local area would not work for his planned business. He also knew that he could make the same business model work in a different part of Britain, where local conditions made it viable.
All he needed was a partner to team up with in that area.
But Mark is a gentle, sensitive man who couldn’t conquer his fear of people saying “No” to him: it’s a very common problem.
So what did Mark do about it?
Well, he spent a few months quietly at home, wishing.
Unsurprisingly, nothing happened.
Nobody said “No” to Mark.
But then again, everybody said “No”, too - because they hadn’t had the chance to say “Yes”.
That’s the thing – failing to ask the question automatically generates “No” by default. If we are too scared, shy or embarrassed to ask the question, we automatically deprive everyone of their chance to say “Yes”, too.
If the worst thing that someone could say to you is the word “No” you’d better get busy right away, collecting up all of your “No’s” and sweeping them out of the way to make room for when you hear “Yes!”.
“No” is only a word, but the fear of “No” makes it so much bigger and scarier – just ask Mark!
So start to see “No” as a successful result – because it is the result of you successfully asking the question.
Go for No.
No and Yes are one and the same thing. They each have the same value to a questioner, because the answer to your question is neutral and it is not about you.
A question seeks to provide more data – “Yes” and “No” are equally valuable data. Extracting either response means that the question has been effective.
As far as people go, the answer only tells you about the person answering the question, not about the person asking it.
Either way, isn’t it better to find out?
© Neil Cowmeadow 2017
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The Thursday Thesis is a fun way to share ideas and experiences from life as a Guitar Teacher, Certified NLP Practitioner and Life-Coach, Retailer, Composer, Player, Technician, Accountant, Scientist and Writer... and as the father of a wonderful son.
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