The Power of No...
The Thursday Thesis - 01/02/2018
There are some very powerful words in the English language. Some words are almost guaranteed to soothe, others to anger, and some to outrage.
But there’s this one little word – NO - that seems uniquely powerful when it comes to creating a state of fear in us.
It’s the fear of no which makes asking someone out on a date such a big deal. We know – deep down – that he/she is not currently part of our lives, so the only real risk is that they will remain that way. Yet we prevaricate and flounce around the issue, summoning up our courage and bracing ourselves for rejection.
“What if she says NO?” we wonder...
Dude - if she says NO - it’s no biggie, ok?
So she says NO and there’s no change in the world as I know it: what was all that worrying about?
Tragically, I know one woman who is so afraid of hearing NO at some time in the future that she flees every relationship that’s going well!
So much for romance and rejection, then.
But what about when people ask us to do something we don’t want to do?
We know we don’t want to do it, but we often cave-in to their demand and say yes, just to be nice.
Now, I think this is both odd and ludicrous. Saying yes to what someone else wants might mean that we have to say no to what we want, perhaps even violate our own moral code.
In this situation we might start to worry that the other person might fall out with us if we don’t go along with their request, even though it is not in our best interest or attuned to our values.
Personally, if someone will fall out with me because I won’t go along with something that is anathema to me, they’re probably not the best sort of person for me to be hanging out with anyway.
The flipside of fearing NO is equally powerful: just say NO.
As soon as you learn to harness the power of NO, you have control of your own time, lifestyle and, perhaps, even your destiny.
Say NO to what is not in your best interest, and you can say YES to what is.
Say NO to what you don’t want, and you gain the ability to say YES to what you do want.
When was the last time you said NO to anything?
And what are you doing, today, that would you like to say NO to?
It’s your call.
© Neil Cowmeadow 2018
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